One of the many reasons that I wanted to start this page was because of my own experiences reading other blogs. And what’s funny is that I didn’t even intend on ending up on a blog, or even reading any personal input at that. I would always start by simply Googling about the illness of bipolar.
You get my drift. The point I’m trying to get across is that nothing is worse than feeling like you are walking this confusing, and at time tortuous, path alone. You can have conversation after conversation with people who you know have endless love for you, but at the end of the day, no words can truly comfort you, unless they’re coming from a place of experience. So that’s what would always lead me to the internet.
I’d start doing searches about how I can reconstruct life on my own. And as much as the medical, clinical, and therapeutic advice did help (including from my personal therapist and psychiatrist), nothing would compare to ending up on someone’s personal page who simply had this message: I know what you are going through and you are not alone. And most importantly, it is going to be okay. Those are the only words that would make the tears stop streaming down my face, allow me to take a deep breath, and think about how I am going to get through this.
This thinking would lead to real (and effective) pep talks with myself: I will learn to deal with this. I will find other people who understand what it’s like to live with this and not feel the need to hide what’s going on inside the depths of my mind. The most important thing to take from this illness is this: there is nothing wrong with us, our brain’s chemistry is simply different than others. Although there is no cure, we have to stop comparing ourselves to people who are not up against the same enemy and adopt the positive thinking that will ultimately change everything once we master it. We can get through this, and will.
Even if I tried, I couldn’t put a number on the hours upon hours of research & trail and error that I have done in attempts to construct my life just the way I know it can, and will, be. I’m not a professional. I don’t have a Ph.D, but I do have passion; and I have a lot of it.
I have made changes in my daily routine in the last few months that have made more of a difference than all attempts combined in the previous years of my life. I’m going to post a detailed list on these changes, as I hope it can help someone the way it has me. I will also share my own research of medications I am trying/have tried, as well as natural and habitual strategies that I’ve found to be successful or not. Anyone who deals with bipolar knows that one minute you feel like you can conquer the world, the next you feel like you’re underneath it. My goal is to learn how to harness that positive energy for when the euphoric highs turn into those desolate lows.
I am not sure if my blog will even reach anyone, but if I can play a role of any positive light in someone’s dark thinking, or even comfort someone just through sharing details of my own dark days, I will have more of a sense of fulfillment than any other success in life could possibly bring me.